Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Mother's Day

For the past several years we've had my mom over for brunch for Mother's Day.  Jim's the youngest of 6 so his  mom often already has plans and since I'm an only I get to be with my mom every year.  I always enjoy just having a low key day and being with her.  It still seems like the day is about MY Mom and I often forget that the day is for me too.

Stella loves to take pictures and hams it up - Lu is just kind of oblivious to it all (and it was past her bedtime.)
First, Lulu woke me up at 4:30.  I guess she just wanted to be able to spend a little bit of quiet alone time with me on a special day - she sure wasn't going to get anymore that day!  This year, on top of brunch, my Mom offered to help us put together the swing set we'd gotten for the girls.  I LOVE that I have the kind of mom who'd be willing to spend her special day this way. I love that we were out showing my two girls that women don't have to just sit back and watch while men do the labor. Both girls got some experience with tools and both girls had a ton of fun doing so. (more on the swing set later)

Lucy's first movie night with Stella and I - what a dream!
As much as I loved the day, I'm thinking next year I'd like to do things a bit differently.  I think we'll do brunch on Saturday and Sunday will be a day to just be with my little family and reflect on how blessed I am to have these two beautiful little girls in my life.  I spent so many years praying for kids and so many holidays with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat thinking of all that was missing from our lives.  I don't want to ever get to the point where I take motherhood for granted and where Mother's Day is just another Sunday to get work done around the house.  I want it to be a day that I celebrate, not me as a mama, but that fact that I get to be a mama at all.  A day where I say an extra prayer for the women whose prayers haven't been answered yet and still cry those tears.  I don't forget how much I wanted them, not for a second.  I think about it when I watch them sleep at night, when I watch them play, when they love me up... I think about our life "before" every single day and am grateful.  Now when I cry it's a, "I can't believe how lucky I am.  I can't believe how beautiful they are. I can't believe my body can hold this much love." cry.

After their bath, in clean jammies, before bed... such a  dreamy time of night!
I'm rereading the book "Lift" by Kelly Corrigan and highlighting parts that I want to be sure to point out to my girls when they're grown.  The author (who fought cancer) wrote to her daughters, "I've had cancer twice and if I had to pick a fate for you, cancer or fertility problems, I'd pick cancer."  I've never had it so I can't say I'd wish for the same, but it's sure nice to feel like somebody who got pregnant easily understands just a bit of the heartache.

I still wish I had been able to be a younger mom.  I still wish I had been able to choose when I had them.  I wish it hadn't involved all of the $ and trips to Seattle and Drs.  I'm trying to let go of all of that though.  I'm so very grateful for what we have and the Plan that wasn't my own but far exceeded anything I could have possibly wished for.

So next year Mother's Day will look a bit different.  Maybe I'll get to sleep in, have Starbucks delivered in bed, and a family trip to the beach.  I want to take the day to slow down and reflect more.  (Don't get me wrong, I did have a GREAT day.) I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day!

No comments:

Post a Comment